Be more like the other person

No 2 people is very the same completely even when you find your better half. This is something we (my hubby and I) have realised since the begining. Fundamentally, I think it is good cos even though we are different, it is in a good way. The key in having a difference in opinion, way of doing things is in how you adapt and rub of each other.

I fundamentally feel that his way of thinking (which is different from mine) is GOOD in this own way. And that is a great start point. That shows respect. While I don't agree with his way, don't even like it but I don't resent it, I respect him for who he is. That's important!. But of course I still think I am right in my own way. I believe that our differences would rub off on each other and make us better people.

My husband, he is a slow and steady relax guy. He can't multitask, prefer to do things at his own pace and do it well. I on the other hand is aggresive, action oriented, multitasker and want to achieve this and that in life. Therefore I will tend to think that he is just too complacent and not aggresive enough to achieve what he wants. I get frustrated and irritated with him. I on the other hand to him may come across as too big headed, selfish, and ambitious. While I wish that he is not as laid back, but fundamentally the way he is ....is the reason why I fell in love with him. He is caring, committed, takes effort and times, compassionate and really go all out to love and take care of me. And I believe that the way he is should rub off on me cos it would do me good. I should slow down, be more compassionate, patient. Not that is not to change to be like him. I like who I am.

So for me, I hope that my drive for life, my clarity of important goals to achieve in life would rub off on him too. I need him to be at the driver seat of this family. Due to my nature, I would easy just want to take over. That's not good.

I have to consciously tell myself that I must respect him as the man and the lead in this family. I must use the soft approach to enrol him. I must not look down on him. I must not make him feel small. I know I am capable of doing mean things sometimes, not intentionally but just because I am aggresive and driven, I tend to get frustrated with people who is slow. I am not as compassionate and I recognise it as something I can improve on.

Anyway, as for me and hubby.......we are different but we need to learn to be more like each other. He be more like me. I be more like him. That is when we can create a good blend. That will be what make it work.