Is is WRONG to be with a MARRIED Man?

I don't know whether married men have itchy backsides or single females are desperate after they hit 35 years above but the whole extra-marital affairs is happening more and more. I keep hearing stories about it and worst, it is happening to my friends too.

In this day and age when nothing is as clear as black or white, has extra marital affair fallen into the grey area?

When 2 people develop feelings for each other, sometimes what is preceived as wrong does not feel so wrong anymore.

There are many reasons and excuses for people to do wrong. Does this mean that we accept them and just let it happen?

I am not being judgemental about what people choose for their lives. If they have chosen, so be it. But the question in my mind - Is it wrong or is it ok? And before you jump into the "grey"area, is there really a black or white answer?

This is the story.

HE says he has no feeling for his wife anymore. Their marriage is irreversible. They still stay together for the sake of their child. The wife has threatened to take away the child if they divorce.

SHE is above 35 and single, independant, carefree and socialable. She just could not find the right man to love her. Age is catching up it seems extremely difficult to find any decent guy. It's not that she is choosy, there just are too few good single guys above 35.

They are close friends and have been collegues for more than 10 years. Everything was fine and dandy until one day he confessed his love for her. She was shocked and a little touched.

She knows that she does not want to be in the middle of him and his family. He says he is very clear that his marriage is over. She has told him that there can be nothing between them while he is married. He also promised he will not do anything to her while he is still attached.

However, he wants to spend time with her, buy her things, shower her with gifts to showcase his genuine love. He needs time to handle his wife who is giving him a difficult time, not wanting a divorce and also using the child as a threat if he divorces her.

Meanwhile, he is clear that he will not touch her or force her to do anything she doesn't want to. His only request - Do not avoid him, and spend some time with him, for dinners, drinks etc just like old times.

This is her dilemma :-

She does not want to lose the friendship and she even want things the way it used to be, go out dinners, drinks etc. Also deep down, there is a possibility for them to be together. They have been friends for so long and they understand each othe very well. While she never considered him because he is married but now things are different, he confessed his love, he wants to divorce his wife, why avoid him? They may have a chance at love. Furthermore, she does not have anybody else. It is not like, there is another single guy waiting around for her. There is nobody so he is potential.....if only he was not married.

But if she continues to go out with him "as friends", will it lead anywhere? What is she develop more feelings for him? What if they can't control themselves?? They may be friends now but things have changed. It can never go back to being just friends like before. There are feelings involved now. Does she really want to be the 3rd party even though she and him has done no wrong now? What if his wife finds out that he loves another woman?

So she is in the "grey" area. Have not committed the "crime" but her actions are putting her in a very dangerous position. Should she choose "white" - keep away, avoid his advances even though they are just friends, at least for sometime? Or choose "black" - commit the "crime" and deal with the consequences?

What would you do in her situation?