Love and Hate Relationship with Mom

How many of you can relate to this?

All my life, I have a turbulent relationship with my mom. She is a strong lady and have worked very hard to bring up the family. She had a hard life. Being the eldest and only daugther of 4 brothers, she hardly had a childhood. From a very young age, she had to be independant, she had to take care of her siblings, wash clothes, feed the brothers, take care of the household etc.

It does not help that she grew up during the Japanese occupation. I can only imagine how hard life was for a low-income family. Her hard life has hardened her as a person too. She brought me up the only way she knew how - the hard way, with an iron fist, with strict rules, with the hope that I will have a better life.

So in everything I do, I was nagged, scolded often.....just so that I know the consequences of my actions. If I don't study hard then blah blah, If I don't do well in my exam, then blah blah, If I don't have money, then blah blah, If I go out late, then blah blah, If I go out often, then blah blah.....

In her effort to ensure I do not fail, do not make a mistake, she has now become a negative person. Often only looking at what could go wrong. No praises, no joy, just cautions and scoldings.

I have been blessed with many good things - good education, scholarships, great job and now a wonderful husband. But my mom still remains the same person she was. Often just looking at what I do wrong, often scolding me for my actions. I have wondered before if she was proud of me.

Deep down I know that she is very proud of me. I also know she does not know how to express it. She just know her way. Her way of love is to advise, caution, nag, scold etc.

I am often at loggerheads with my mom. After years of nagging and scolding and constant negativity about the things I do, I have had enough. I know I should try harder to be patient but sometimes it is so difficult cos every word she says just presses my buttons. It is almost an automatic reaction.

I love my mom but there are many times that I am so angry at her. She just brings out the worst in me. It is like a downhill spiral. She scolds, I snap, she scolds somemore, I snap and she scolds even more.............

I have many stories about my mom. I am appreciative of what she has done for me. I just wish that our constant disagreements do not cloud my love for me.

I will be sharing more stories about me and my mom. I want to use it as a reminder for myself.

Tell me your stories of you and your mom.