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Saturday, October 25, 2008

NO matter what. She is still my mom!

Even though a slight volcano erupted between my mom and me yesterday but it's ok...it has become like part and parcel of our relationship.

I am not proud that I am rude to her, I told myself a thousand times that I would need to be more tolerant but how? how to do it when the feelings and reactions are already embedded in me.

Whenever she opens her mouth, my automatic attack reaction comes on. Actually, if people see from outside, they won't understand but when you are in it, you will know why it is like that, how it happened and how hard it is to change.

I wish I can change too and I think only God can help me.

I also wish that my mom would change cos if she continues being the hard, dissatisfied, nagging person that she is, our family will never be happy. I know she can't change. If I find it difficult, what more her who has lived all her life like that.

I guess, if it is to be, it is up to me.



Anyway, as my truce, I bought her a gift set for her birthday in Nov. It is a small gesture and soon it will be forgotten and she will pick on me for other things but it's ok, I will do my part.

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