I have been ranting about my mom. Sometimes I feel like I am really immature and such a bad person. How can I be writing negative things about my own mom?
Firstly, I would like to qualify that I love my mom very much. But if you have been reading my past postings, you will be familiar that my mom and I are not in the best of relationships. It is not that we hate each other but it is more like we tick each other off all the time. So for years, it has been one shouting match after another.
From small to now, she is always scolding me about one thing after another. This has grown to become resentment from me. So now, I attack her back. If she scold me, I will attack and I will attack her for the things that she does wrong. My irritation of her is at the highest.
I know I need to resolve this anger within me. I need to be the agent of change and not let this continue. Therefore I am choosing to express myself in my blog. I want to remember all these things. I want to remind myself that I should not do these things to my children.
I am aware that I would probably end up like my mom, but I don't want that to happen. So when I write about my mom, it is for me to let out the anger and frustration. But it is also that I document what she did and what I did so that it can be a lesson for me in future when I am old and don't realize that I am acting ridiculous.
No comments:
Post a Comment