December 2009
I am a thinker, I think a lot, I think about everything before I act. Infact I think about things before even it happens. I think ahead, I imagine scenarios. I anticipate. That is how I am, how my mind has been build.
In my mind of thinking, obviously not everything is nice. I am not a dreamer. Just when I am sleeping. In reality, everything is not nice. And thus, when I think, I anticipate and think of worst case scenarios. I feel better if I have anticipated the worst or at least worked it out in my head so I can handle it better.
However, when doing this, sometimes it comes out as negative. It's like asking, what happens if I die tomorrow? It's morbid, it's not something nice to to think about.
My husband says I am negative and I think of only negative things.
But I like to think of all scenarios and hopefully with that I am better prepared. I don't want to think that reality is so nice, beautiful, fun and dandy and when something else strikes, I dunno what to do.
But there is a balance to achieve. I can't just think of all bad case scenarios and just worry about it. Remember it is only to think and plan NOT to indulge and let something that is in the thinking process became a reality cos it is not!
So my husband's comment that I am negative do strike a chord that I need a balance and not dump 20 worst case scenarios on him to solve on a situation that has not even happened.
But, I hope he is also learning that he needs to think thru the situation more vs just let it hit you whichever way it wants.
At least for me, I would have thot about the different ways it would hit me!
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