My husband and I have been separated for 6 months now.
Ok not separated like separation leading to divorce kinda thing. It is more like separated by land and ocean. We are 24 hours apart by flight at different place and continent.
The last I saw him, the last we touched was 3 months ago.
He said he does not completely agree on why I am here but he says he understands.
But I know deep down, this is the last straw. We can't do it anymore. The separation is not doing any good.
I am giving it another 3 months......by then we must make a decision. Pray for an answer and open doors from God.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
I slept with my bf's best friend and he is gay
My bf and I were refraining from sex, something that we agreed upon for our relationship.
We went to India or it looked like kinda a war torn Islamic country like what we usually see in the news - men carrying guns everywhere.
My bf went to work.
I was with my bf's best friend walking the streets. It was dangerous. He kept me safe.
We went back to the hotel. Someone tried to assasinate him but failed. It was a close call for both of us.
It happened. We did it, we had sex. Even though he is my bf's best friend and he is gay.
Wow! My dreams are getting more weird!
We went to India or it looked like kinda a war torn Islamic country like what we usually see in the news - men carrying guns everywhere.
My bf went to work.
I was with my bf's best friend walking the streets. It was dangerous. He kept me safe.
We went back to the hotel. Someone tried to assasinate him but failed. It was a close call for both of us.
It happened. We did it, we had sex. Even though he is my bf's best friend and he is gay.
Wow! My dreams are getting more weird!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
I wanna bitch about my boss
Can't help it! Just need to let out!
A boss who can't let go of the work
A boss who don't enable his/her people
A boss who wants does things before letting other know in order to take glory for him/herself
A boss who think seniority is more important than talent
A boss who feels threatened when you are better
A boss who's hairstyle is from a decade ago
A boss who does not sleep and works all the time and don't hesitate to tell the whole world about it.
You better agree with everthing that your boss says...then your life would be easy.
A boss who can't let go of the work
A boss who don't enable his/her people
A boss who wants does things before letting other know in order to take glory for him/herself
A boss who think seniority is more important than talent
A boss who feels threatened when you are better
A boss who's hairstyle is from a decade ago
A boss who does not sleep and works all the time and don't hesitate to tell the whole world about it.
You better agree with everthing that your boss says...then your life would be easy.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Banks are double faced pigs!!!
I had a revelation today. I finally see how banks actually treat their customer. If you are there to deposit monies, you get first priority and if you are there to withdraw, you will get last priority.
How did I know this? Here is my story for today....
I am not a big time business person, I don't have millions in the bank BUT I do not expect to be discriminated by the financial insitution called the bank!
Well, my banking transactions are pretty limited since I see banks as a means for savings. Therefore mostly ATMs to withdraw monies and when I enter the bank it is usually to deposit. Even now, I can deposit cheques and cash thru the machine so as much as possible, there is little time spent actually seeing a teller. Therefore, only when I deposit a FD, I will actually do a transaction via a teller.
Frankly, I must say that Maybank have improved their services, especially on time spent waiting TREMENDOUSLY. Years ago, one have to wait for 30 mins - 1 hour for any transaction but nowadays, it is amazingly fast. You tell the reception what you want to get done, she will advice if you need to fill up a form or not, and then you will be given a ticket number. At certain branches, and in particular this one that I usually go to...the tellers are upstairs. So amazingly, everytime I am given a number, I walk upstairs and nearly 99% of the time, before even I reach upstairs, my numbers would be called. Amazing right?!! Superb service right?!!
Until today! I really see the double face of Maybank!!
I decided to withdraw one of my FD today from Maybank. The reason simple - rumours that Maybank is not doing well and everyone is saying don't out all your eggs into the Maybank basket. Anyway, I decided to diversify and probably deposit some monies in other banks.
As usual, I went to the reception, and told them it is a FD transation. She asked me deposit or withdraw. I said withdraw, she gave me a ticket.
I rushed upstairs knowing that my number would be called since I am the next number on the ticket - 40xx
I reached upstairs and this time no "ting" for my number. So I waited for a while.
Strange...how come at least 3 tellers are not serving anybody but they did not "ting" for my number. Ok never mind, maybe for my transations, it is with the other tellers who are busy right now.
I stood there and waited. The tellers were still free, other tellers became available and yet they did not "ting" me.
"What's happening?"!!!!!
The "ting"...oh..it's not my number, they ting for 10xx. Then I saw a lady just managed to reach to the floor from downstairs and went straight to the teller.
They "ting" for at least another 7 new people who just walked in.
Can you imagine how I felt? I was fuming!!!! What the heck???!!!!
What the f*ck??!!! I was ready to walk to the counter and confront one of the tellers.
Then one of the manager from the back of the teller walked to the counter and "ting" my number.
I walked up and glared at him. He was a little taken aback.
I gave him my FD and a bank book and said withdraw and put into my savings account. He looked like he wanted to ask me a question but he could see I was fuming so he took my FD and asked me to wait while he process.
I told myself to stay calm and not to pick a fight. I will hold my tongue today!
Basically this is what happened. People who wants to withdraw monies is given the number starting 40xx. I suspect that the tellers are not supposed to "ting" these numbers but their supervisors are supposed to attend. Therefore, even though all tellers are free, my number was not "ting". The supervisor was supposed to question and ask why people want to withdraw. The guy who never asked me due to 2 things - I was Glaring at him, and also since I said withdraw into the savings books, he must think that's ok since it is still within the bank.
I am just pissed at this kind of treatment given!! Freaking discrimination!
No reason for me to deposit anymore monies to Maybank!
How did I know this? Here is my story for today....
I am not a big time business person, I don't have millions in the bank BUT I do not expect to be discriminated by the financial insitution called the bank!
Well, my banking transactions are pretty limited since I see banks as a means for savings. Therefore mostly ATMs to withdraw monies and when I enter the bank it is usually to deposit. Even now, I can deposit cheques and cash thru the machine so as much as possible, there is little time spent actually seeing a teller. Therefore, only when I deposit a FD, I will actually do a transaction via a teller.
Frankly, I must say that Maybank have improved their services, especially on time spent waiting TREMENDOUSLY. Years ago, one have to wait for 30 mins - 1 hour for any transaction but nowadays, it is amazingly fast. You tell the reception what you want to get done, she will advice if you need to fill up a form or not, and then you will be given a ticket number. At certain branches, and in particular this one that I usually go to...the tellers are upstairs. So amazingly, everytime I am given a number, I walk upstairs and nearly 99% of the time, before even I reach upstairs, my numbers would be called. Amazing right?!! Superb service right?!!
Until today! I really see the double face of Maybank!!
I decided to withdraw one of my FD today from Maybank. The reason simple - rumours that Maybank is not doing well and everyone is saying don't out all your eggs into the Maybank basket. Anyway, I decided to diversify and probably deposit some monies in other banks.
As usual, I went to the reception, and told them it is a FD transation. She asked me deposit or withdraw. I said withdraw, she gave me a ticket.
I rushed upstairs knowing that my number would be called since I am the next number on the ticket - 40xx
I reached upstairs and this time no "ting" for my number. So I waited for a while.
Strange...how come at least 3 tellers are not serving anybody but they did not "ting" for my number. Ok never mind, maybe for my transations, it is with the other tellers who are busy right now.
I stood there and waited. The tellers were still free, other tellers became available and yet they did not "ting" me.
"What's happening?"!!!!!
The "ting"...oh..it's not my number, they ting for 10xx. Then I saw a lady just managed to reach to the floor from downstairs and went straight to the teller.
They "ting" for at least another 7 new people who just walked in.
Can you imagine how I felt? I was fuming!!!! What the heck???!!!!
What the f*ck??!!! I was ready to walk to the counter and confront one of the tellers.
Then one of the manager from the back of the teller walked to the counter and "ting" my number.
I walked up and glared at him. He was a little taken aback.
I gave him my FD and a bank book and said withdraw and put into my savings account. He looked like he wanted to ask me a question but he could see I was fuming so he took my FD and asked me to wait while he process.
I told myself to stay calm and not to pick a fight. I will hold my tongue today!
Basically this is what happened. People who wants to withdraw monies is given the number starting 40xx. I suspect that the tellers are not supposed to "ting" these numbers but their supervisors are supposed to attend. Therefore, even though all tellers are free, my number was not "ting". The supervisor was supposed to question and ask why people want to withdraw. The guy who never asked me due to 2 things - I was Glaring at him, and also since I said withdraw into the savings books, he must think that's ok since it is still within the bank.
I am just pissed at this kind of treatment given!! Freaking discrimination!
No reason for me to deposit anymore monies to Maybank!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
I am the second wife.
My Husband has another wife. Infact, I am the the second wife.
The three of us seemed really happy with the arrangement. One man, 2 wife...a happy family?
Then something happened, I went for a holiday and when I came back, things just were not the same. I've changed.
The three of us were watching TV on the bed. My hubby in the middle. The other woman on one side and me on another side. She had her leg on my hubby and hugging his body.
My hubby was holding my hands on my side.
Suddenly, I felt sad, Why am I in here? Why am I in this relationship? I need to leave, I need to run! I started crying.
Phew...it was just a dream.
The three of us seemed really happy with the arrangement. One man, 2 wife...a happy family?
Then something happened, I went for a holiday and when I came back, things just were not the same. I've changed.
The three of us were watching TV on the bed. My hubby in the middle. The other woman on one side and me on another side. She had her leg on my hubby and hugging his body.
My hubby was holding my hands on my side.
Suddenly, I felt sad, Why am I in here? Why am I in this relationship? I need to leave, I need to run! I started crying.
Phew...it was just a dream.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Kudos to Anas Zubedy for daring to speak up.
This is the a full page ad bought by a fellow Malaysian in the STAR today. I am proud of a Malaysian called Anas Zubedy.
Dear Malaysian Politicians,
Please stop the power chase, call for a truce and focus on the economy.
I do not claim to speak on behalf of all Malaysians, but I have strong convictions that many share my sentiments. Our concern today is not who rules the country or heads the state governments but the looming bad economy.
Whether Barisan Nasional or Pakatan Rakyat leads, it is meaningless if Malaysians have no job to go to, no money to pay rent and no means to put food on the table.
I am a business owner, like other business owners and managers of corporations I have a responsibility to ensure people under my care and payroll continue to have jobs and a decent income to take home. We work hard and willing to go the extra mile to make sure our nation not only survive this crisis but come out stronger and wiser. We need your help.
Let me explain. I am in the business of Training, Development and Consultancy and have 20 people in my team.
Saedah is 42. She keeps the office clean and helps organise the training rooms. She has four children and her husband is unemployed. She was first hired on a part time basis, because she is very hard working and has a great attitude, we offered her a full time job to help provide a stable income for her family. Even then, when her third child started school this year, it was a struggle for her to buy new school uniforms and other necessities. Saedah lives on a ‘kais bulan, makan bulan’ basis, so, if she is jobless, her tap runs dry.
Samsuri is 27 years old. He lives with his sister and her family in a low cost government flat in Sunway. He does our despatch, helps with various clerical works and occasionally acts as a driver. During the first week at zubedy, we learned that he not only did not have money to buy new clothes and shoes for work, he had no money for lunch. Like Saedah, if he has no job, his tap runs dry too.
Alicia in Client Servicing turns 26 this year. She lives with her dad who is 71 years old and retired. Her mom passed away when she was little. Alicia is a hard-working team member, has a gentle caring outlook and fun to be with. (We like to poke fun at her as she blushes easily). Last May her dad went through a major operation, thank God he has recovered well. Alicia needs a job, both for herself and her dad.
Sudesh, 38, is one of our facilitators. When his father passed away last year, he moved back and lives with his mother in Seremban. He shuttles between Kuala Lumpur and Seremban daily, leaving home sometimes as early as 4 in the morning and returning late at night. He is no stranger to hard work and sacrifice, he knows what he needs to do to survive and to care for his mother, but he too needs a job.
Like fellow Malaysians, every one of us in zubedy needs employment, those that live from hand to mouth like Saedah and Samsuri and others like Alicia and Sudesh with family to care for. We Malaysians need the Malaysian economy to be strong. We need you, our leaders, to work hard and to work together to make our economy viable.
So this is my plea.
Pakatan Rakyat, please stop your attempts to take over the federal government and persuade BN’s lawmakers to join you. Stop all legal proceedings, no more 916 and let go, just let go. The nation can wait till the next general elections if they want change. By doing so, Malaysians will see your party as caring, unselfish and gracious and give you their support in the next elections.
Barisan Nasional, please stop any attempts to take over PR states and win over PR’s lawmakers. You have proven your point with Perak. The nation can wait for the next general elections if they want your party. Focus all your talent, energy and hard work in steering the country out of an economic downturn. By doing so, Malaysians will see your party as caring, unselfish and smart and give you their support in the next elections.
BN and PR! Call for a truce. Get together and compromise. Someone has to give in. Or has hate consumed your heart till it blinds you? You can do it. You have enough intelligent people between you. I am sure you can find solutions. Take the nation to heart. That is why you are in politics in the first place.
Focus on the people.
Focus on the economy.
Anas Zubedy
Managing DirectorZubedy (M) Sdn Bhd
Dear Malaysian Politicians,
Please stop the power chase, call for a truce and focus on the economy.
I do not claim to speak on behalf of all Malaysians, but I have strong convictions that many share my sentiments. Our concern today is not who rules the country or heads the state governments but the looming bad economy.
Whether Barisan Nasional or Pakatan Rakyat leads, it is meaningless if Malaysians have no job to go to, no money to pay rent and no means to put food on the table.
I am a business owner, like other business owners and managers of corporations I have a responsibility to ensure people under my care and payroll continue to have jobs and a decent income to take home. We work hard and willing to go the extra mile to make sure our nation not only survive this crisis but come out stronger and wiser. We need your help.
Let me explain. I am in the business of Training, Development and Consultancy and have 20 people in my team.
Saedah is 42. She keeps the office clean and helps organise the training rooms. She has four children and her husband is unemployed. She was first hired on a part time basis, because she is very hard working and has a great attitude, we offered her a full time job to help provide a stable income for her family. Even then, when her third child started school this year, it was a struggle for her to buy new school uniforms and other necessities. Saedah lives on a ‘kais bulan, makan bulan’ basis, so, if she is jobless, her tap runs dry.
Samsuri is 27 years old. He lives with his sister and her family in a low cost government flat in Sunway. He does our despatch, helps with various clerical works and occasionally acts as a driver. During the first week at zubedy, we learned that he not only did not have money to buy new clothes and shoes for work, he had no money for lunch. Like Saedah, if he has no job, his tap runs dry too.
Alicia in Client Servicing turns 26 this year. She lives with her dad who is 71 years old and retired. Her mom passed away when she was little. Alicia is a hard-working team member, has a gentle caring outlook and fun to be with. (We like to poke fun at her as she blushes easily). Last May her dad went through a major operation, thank God he has recovered well. Alicia needs a job, both for herself and her dad.
Sudesh, 38, is one of our facilitators. When his father passed away last year, he moved back and lives with his mother in Seremban. He shuttles between Kuala Lumpur and Seremban daily, leaving home sometimes as early as 4 in the morning and returning late at night. He is no stranger to hard work and sacrifice, he knows what he needs to do to survive and to care for his mother, but he too needs a job.
Like fellow Malaysians, every one of us in zubedy needs employment, those that live from hand to mouth like Saedah and Samsuri and others like Alicia and Sudesh with family to care for. We Malaysians need the Malaysian economy to be strong. We need you, our leaders, to work hard and to work together to make our economy viable.
So this is my plea.
Pakatan Rakyat, please stop your attempts to take over the federal government and persuade BN’s lawmakers to join you. Stop all legal proceedings, no more 916 and let go, just let go. The nation can wait till the next general elections if they want change. By doing so, Malaysians will see your party as caring, unselfish and gracious and give you their support in the next elections.
Barisan Nasional, please stop any attempts to take over PR states and win over PR’s lawmakers. You have proven your point with Perak. The nation can wait for the next general elections if they want your party. Focus all your talent, energy and hard work in steering the country out of an economic downturn. By doing so, Malaysians will see your party as caring, unselfish and smart and give you their support in the next elections.
BN and PR! Call for a truce. Get together and compromise. Someone has to give in. Or has hate consumed your heart till it blinds you? You can do it. You have enough intelligent people between you. I am sure you can find solutions. Take the nation to heart. That is why you are in politics in the first place.
Focus on the people.
Focus on the economy.
Anas Zubedy
Managing DirectorZubedy (M) Sdn Bhd
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Sigh....the strength of difference!
Honestly I am not a positive person. I am a practical person, I am a worrier. I am a planner and I like to plan ahead to make sure everything will be ok. I feel at times that can be perceived as not positive.
Because I am practical - I tend to face realities faster.
Because I am worrier - I tend to say the not so positives realities so that I will face it.
Because I like to plan ahead - I tend to be too "kan cheong" to get to the results.
A lot of people hate to face realities. Focus on the easy stuff, think of the heavy stuff later. For me, I would also want to avoid the reality but I know I can't. If I don't take control of the grim reality, it would not go away. It will still be there! and it will bite sooner or later.
I am scared. If I know there is trouble ahead, I want to make sure I put things in place so that I can fix it now. Not use other things to make the big issue seem smaller.
But I also believe there is a strength to being different. However you are, positive or negative, dreamer or practical, life will still go on, things will still turn out.
TAKE THE GOOD AND THROW AWAY THE BAD. HAVE FAITH!
Because I am practical - I tend to face realities faster.
Because I am worrier - I tend to say the not so positives realities so that I will face it.
Because I like to plan ahead - I tend to be too "kan cheong" to get to the results.
A lot of people hate to face realities. Focus on the easy stuff, think of the heavy stuff later. For me, I would also want to avoid the reality but I know I can't. If I don't take control of the grim reality, it would not go away. It will still be there! and it will bite sooner or later.
I am scared. If I know there is trouble ahead, I want to make sure I put things in place so that I can fix it now. Not use other things to make the big issue seem smaller.
But I also believe there is a strength to being different. However you are, positive or negative, dreamer or practical, life will still go on, things will still turn out.
TAKE THE GOOD AND THROW AWAY THE BAD. HAVE FAITH!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I did it again
I can't help it. I tell myself everyday that I need to control my mouth but my mom just rubs me the wrong way. Everything she does and says just get on my nerves and I snap. I want to be the good daughter, to have mother and daughter bonding, support each other, have pleasant conversations, BUT my mom and I never had that. She scolded me all her life, she still does and now I scold her back. Everything she does is not pleasing to me. Frankly I do not have a good impression of her and thus I hate her every action. I get annoyed and I just snap and I will scold her.
Trust me, I know I am guilty. She is my mom, I cannot treat her this way.I am rude! I am really terrible. There is no excuse. I am guilty!
I will pray. I do want to be better. I have to rid of this resentment towards my mom. Forget the past. Let go of my anger. If I don't, I know I will regret one day.
Trust me, I know I am guilty. She is my mom, I cannot treat her this way.I am rude! I am really terrible. There is no excuse. I am guilty!
I will pray. I do want to be better. I have to rid of this resentment towards my mom. Forget the past. Let go of my anger. If I don't, I know I will regret one day.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
My nasty mood
This weekend, I was in foul mood. Seriously foul mood. I was irritable and had this anger in my eyes. Since I am staying with mom, she took the brunt of it. Well...not that I am any better on other days...it has been always like that...me and mom- we just don't see eye to eye!
Of course it got worse since I am in a nasty mood. Everything she did wrong, I did not stop myself from letting her know. I was just mean and you could see the anger in my eyes.
My poor hubby also was not spared. He is the most patient man and I love him for that. He will try to cheer me up, he will talk and talk and talk just to distract me. I just grunt back! And if he siad something wrong...snap snap....that's how nasty I was.
Anyway the weekend is coming to an end, I am a bit better today...my mood is improving. I just want to say I am sorry!
Of course it got worse since I am in a nasty mood. Everything she did wrong, I did not stop myself from letting her know. I was just mean and you could see the anger in my eyes.
My poor hubby also was not spared. He is the most patient man and I love him for that. He will try to cheer me up, he will talk and talk and talk just to distract me. I just grunt back! And if he siad something wrong...snap snap....that's how nasty I was.
Anyway the weekend is coming to an end, I am a bit better today...my mood is improving. I just want to say I am sorry!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Calculator and Shit...
Seriously, either I am sleeping too much or I am freaking bored.
It shows in my dreams.
Ok I was feeling kinda constipated. But yet my stomach is feeling bloated and uncomfortable. Not forgetting the explosive farts..or the silent killer farts that even I have to spare my nose of its misery.......
Anyway, here is what I dreamt :-
There were 3 of us. I can't remember who they are now but definitely my friends and me. I think we have been constipated for a few days now and we are kinda in agony. The shit wants to come out but it can't cos it stuck. The most bizzare thing is that, our a**holes are stuck...literally. So we have to slowly, push it out. (sorry that it is getting yucky...bear with me).
So there we were...probably in a clinic sitting next to each other and each pushing our shit out. You won't believe why our butt-holes are stuck. It is stuck with a calculator!!!!!!! So we have to slowly push the calculator out first to clear the channel..... for the shit!!
Dreams.....what can I say? There is nothing to say.
Sorry for slow entries for the past 2 month....The blog engine in me kinda stalled for a while. Went for a vacation :) but hopefully am back with full force.
It shows in my dreams.
Ok I was feeling kinda constipated. But yet my stomach is feeling bloated and uncomfortable. Not forgetting the explosive farts..or the silent killer farts that even I have to spare my nose of its misery.......
Anyway, here is what I dreamt :-
There were 3 of us. I can't remember who they are now but definitely my friends and me. I think we have been constipated for a few days now and we are kinda in agony. The shit wants to come out but it can't cos it stuck. The most bizzare thing is that, our a**holes are stuck...literally. So we have to slowly, push it out. (sorry that it is getting yucky...bear with me).
So there we were...probably in a clinic sitting next to each other and each pushing our shit out. You won't believe why our butt-holes are stuck. It is stuck with a calculator!!!!!!! So we have to slowly push the calculator out first to clear the channel..... for the shit!!
Dreams.....what can I say? There is nothing to say.
Sorry for slow entries for the past 2 month....The blog engine in me kinda stalled for a while. Went for a vacation :) but hopefully am back with full force.
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