He was a good friend. Good guy, very attentive and nice to women. He is the type of guy that women can fall easily in love with. Smooth-talker, funny, smart, good-looking, socialize well, attentive (the type that protects women when you are with him), a good friend, overall a guy whom a girl will feel really lucky to have as her man. No faults, almost perfect.
Many moons ago when I first got to know him, I didn't see any faults, we became fast friends and I actually considered. But then just as I considered, it was like a big curtain was opened in my eyes. He was all the positives of the above, but then I saw something else. So small that nobody would notice. So small that even if I told others, they won't see it or believe me either.
But when I saw this little small fault, it never left me. He is a "little fake".
And I say a "little" cos in general, you won't be able to see it. In general, he is still a nice guy. In general he is still all that he is and all that he shows himself to be - all the positives. But I saw that he is not all that genuine, some of his actions so subtly but I saw is all not that real. Almost like a pretense but then he is not really pretending. It is difficult to describe. But it is like, he is this really nice guy and he is and he does do all the nice things but then once in a while he slips, you see that he is not 100% genuine. It is like a show he shows but a show that he has perfected that he almost became perfect but in actuality deep down he is not perfect.
Then again, is he all the positives above, yes he is. Is he a good friend, yes he is. Is he like a perfect husband/bf, yes he is. But I could not get over the little glimpse of "fakeness" I saw. It was almost I saw him for who he really is. I am still his friend but we are no longer close. But I have not become cold, there was no reason too. I became like him "fake" when I am with him. I am still like nice and close to him, we joke, we show concern, we are great friends but I am a "little fake", not 100% genuine. So, to avoid my own fakeness, I distance myself as necessary and naturally from him. I don't want to be a fake even if it is 1%.
He married the nicest girl. The girl worships the ground he walks on. She has been in love with him like forever. Together, they are like match made in heaven. Perfect life, Perfect couple.
Then I found out he slept around. Or well, I heard he slept with a collegue. This apparently happened a year ago. I wasn't around at that time. When I heard this from a source, I was in a dilemma.
He is a friend, his wife is a friend infact became a close girlfriend ie. we hang out and the girl he slept with is also a friend. Wow!! What am I to do?
Should I say something to him? He is after all, my friend first but then we are not that close anymore.
Should I say something to his wife? As a girlfriend to her, I should, but then this happened sometime back, I just heard about it now and it is from a third party. What if it is not true?
Should I say something to the girl he "apparently" slept with? I know her, we are friends but who am I to say anything to her??
So I confided with a girlfriend who also know all 3 of them. She hated me for it :) cos now she also has to carry the burden. At least there are 2 of us now. Anyway, we decided that we will not say anything.
Primary reason - we did not see it with our own eyes, what if not true, why plant a seed of betrayal if we don't even know for sure there was and whatmore this happened one year ago.
I hope we made the right decision.
This story came up again for me, sparked up by a dream I had yesterday.
He AS did it again. Apparently, he slept with many girls. We were all at a party. I was in a bad mood and wanted to leave. I started to walk out the door. I saw his wife DE in the crowd. She stopped me and said she wanted to talk. But I was in a hurry to go. I asked her can it wait? She said ok. But she looked sad. As I walked away, I felt bad. Did I do the right thing? Should I just stay and talk to her? I looked back at her, she was already talking with 2 other people. I hurried on. SP stopped me. She asked if she can walk with me and go where I was going. I said fine. We took the car and sped off.
Many moons ago when I first got to know him, I didn't see any faults, we became fast friends and I actually considered. But then just as I considered, it was like a big curtain was opened in my eyes. He was all the positives of the above, but then I saw something else. So small that nobody would notice. So small that even if I told others, they won't see it or believe me either.
But when I saw this little small fault, it never left me. He is a "little fake".
And I say a "little" cos in general, you won't be able to see it. In general, he is still a nice guy. In general he is still all that he is and all that he shows himself to be - all the positives. But I saw that he is not all that genuine, some of his actions so subtly but I saw is all not that real. Almost like a pretense but then he is not really pretending. It is difficult to describe. But it is like, he is this really nice guy and he is and he does do all the nice things but then once in a while he slips, you see that he is not 100% genuine. It is like a show he shows but a show that he has perfected that he almost became perfect but in actuality deep down he is not perfect.
Then again, is he all the positives above, yes he is. Is he a good friend, yes he is. Is he like a perfect husband/bf, yes he is. But I could not get over the little glimpse of "fakeness" I saw. It was almost I saw him for who he really is. I am still his friend but we are no longer close. But I have not become cold, there was no reason too. I became like him "fake" when I am with him. I am still like nice and close to him, we joke, we show concern, we are great friends but I am a "little fake", not 100% genuine. So, to avoid my own fakeness, I distance myself as necessary and naturally from him. I don't want to be a fake even if it is 1%.
He married the nicest girl. The girl worships the ground he walks on. She has been in love with him like forever. Together, they are like match made in heaven. Perfect life, Perfect couple.
Then I found out he slept around. Or well, I heard he slept with a collegue. This apparently happened a year ago. I wasn't around at that time. When I heard this from a source, I was in a dilemma.
He is a friend, his wife is a friend infact became a close girlfriend ie. we hang out and the girl he slept with is also a friend. Wow!! What am I to do?
Should I say something to him? He is after all, my friend first but then we are not that close anymore.
Should I say something to his wife? As a girlfriend to her, I should, but then this happened sometime back, I just heard about it now and it is from a third party. What if it is not true?
Should I say something to the girl he "apparently" slept with? I know her, we are friends but who am I to say anything to her??
So I confided with a girlfriend who also know all 3 of them. She hated me for it :) cos now she also has to carry the burden. At least there are 2 of us now. Anyway, we decided that we will not say anything.
Primary reason - we did not see it with our own eyes, what if not true, why plant a seed of betrayal if we don't even know for sure there was and whatmore this happened one year ago.
I hope we made the right decision.
This story came up again for me, sparked up by a dream I had yesterday.
He AS did it again. Apparently, he slept with many girls. We were all at a party. I was in a bad mood and wanted to leave. I started to walk out the door. I saw his wife DE in the crowd. She stopped me and said she wanted to talk. But I was in a hurry to go. I asked her can it wait? She said ok. But she looked sad. As I walked away, I felt bad. Did I do the right thing? Should I just stay and talk to her? I looked back at her, she was already talking with 2 other people. I hurried on. SP stopped me. She asked if she can walk with me and go where I was going. I said fine. We took the car and sped off.
SP wanted to talk to me. We stopped at a coffee stall. She told me that DE found out that AS has been sleeping around. She found hundreds of text messages on his phone from MAS air stewardess. DE is very sad. We need a plan.
I woke up. A dream based on reality.
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