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Sunday, February 7, 2010

So much anger passed down....

I have hoped that the generation "curse" would stop at me.

I wanted to be the change agent, I wanted to be the person who is better.

But I have been failing. Infact, I think I am even worse than both of them.

There is just so much anger. My mom with my grandmother, Me with my mom and even my grandmother.

I have to admit, I am angry at my mom. No matter how much I love her, I have no gentle way to expresss. I am angry on the outside. I only know how to show anger to express my love. The exact same way that my mom treats me.

Why am I falling into the same spiral? The exact thing that I hated all my life, I am doing exactly the same thing, it is almost like my revenge back to her.

But I know that I want to change. I pray for the strength and the will to follow-thru.

Let me find the compassion to treat my mom and grandma with softness and not anger.

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