This is my Health Resolution

Ok ..reality hits...I am getting fat and my body no longer reacts positively to everything that I eat.

I get a headache from coffee.
My hearts beat 2 times faster when I drink Ipoh White Coffee.
My metabolic rate is much slower.
I eat half of what I used to eat but still fat.
My stomach can no longer take chilli.
Chilli now gives a a "flowery backside" (in Chinese).

So this is it. I have to change my lifestyle and my eating habit. The fact that I have IBS makes it even more critical for me to change. If not I will be having bowels issues and farting issues all the time!

So this is what I want to do :-

1) Coffee is only allows once a week.
2) Other times, should be water, milk, milo and also reduce teh tarik kurang manis
3) Eat slowly, chew my food.
4) Eat 4 - 5 times a day. Breakfast(9am), Break(11am), Lunch(12.30), Break(3.30pm), Dinner (7pm), Supper(10pm).
5) No more Chilli Padi, Reduce All sorts of chillies! Just don't take it. Don't be tempted. Just stop eating Chilli - try it for a week ok. Oh yeah - eat garlic as replacement instead!
6) Exercise - at least 4 times a day!

Easier written than to do. We'll see. Wish me luck.

I missed the bus

Waiting for bus at the bus stop.

The bus was no where in sight.
Got a bit restless, can’t just sit around and wait.
Went into a chocolate store, bought 2 chocolate. Girl at shop was wrapping the box

Bus came.

Nickie and Izzie went up the bus

"Hey girl! Wrap it faster, I got to get up the bus."
I came out just as the bus is driving off.

Nickie and Izzie were on the bus - "just ask the bus to stop"

Both of them were sitting at the back. Their action seemed slow.

Nickie stood up to ring the bell, so that the bus will stop at the next stop I guess.
I was running after the bus. It stopped, I was huffing and puffing.

The strong arms of Nickie grabbed me up the bus.

Bite the fucking bullet and just go!!

I miss my husband.

I felt it today. I don't know what we are doing being apart. How long more do we have to do this?

The ironic thing is that I am the mastermind behind it. I decided that we should be apart until we get clearer on where the path will lead us. In this economic times, we should hang on to what is stable vs making drastic changes. And that is why we are apart now.

I like to think that we are in it together, that we both made the decision but somehow I know deep down, my husband blames me or in the future, if anything happens to our relationship, this time being part may be the starting point of breakage.

Bite the fucking bullet and just go!! That is the risky path. Result - Together.

Stay and wait for certainty. That is the safe path. Result - Apart.

I chose the safe path because I am practical, I am safe, I am cautious.

We have been apart for close to 8 months now except for the 3 weeks when he came back.

I know I did this.

I am sorry.

I am just too practical, is that bad?

I am just too practical

I am just too pratical, calculative and too reasonable. I am not impulsive, often thinking once , twice, three times before doing anything. I anticipate concerns, issues and try my best to ensure everything will go smoothly.

I think a lot, probably too much.

It is good at one hand but also not so good at another.

I am not spontaneous

I am careful

I am boring.

I guess the separation is really getting to me...

I have not seen my hubby for 3 months....This is the manifestation of us being apart as depicted in my dream. It was really a dream.

I was on a business trip with my collegues to Japan. We were in bus station. We were supposed to take a bus into an outskirt area in Japan.

My hubby was supposed to meet me in Japan. As I arrived at the bus station, I looked arounded the crowded place for him. He was no where in sight.

I was getting a little anxious. The bus arrived and my collegues started going up.

" Where is hubby?"

Then someone familiar walked down from the bus. Ohhh! It's Ahkito. Not my hubby :) We had a good time in Europe when we were there for work. I have not seen him for some time!

But my attention quickly swing back looking for my hubby. Who cares about Ahkito?!! I am looking for my hubby.

Then he appeared. My hubby! We hugged. I miss him so. And he felt like he has lost some weight.

I asked him to come with me on the bus. At first he refused, he said he will wait for me to come back from the work place. I told him this place is quite remote and far away and I may not come back by evening. He agreed to come with me.

We got up the bus. It was a magical journey.

First we saw the sky as it we were in space. It was a magical blue in colourful and we could see Earth as if it was the biggest moon right in front of us.

The we passed a building, it looked like a condominium, all white in colour. The bus was on a higher ground so we could see into the different floors of the condo. And each floor we could see the tenants playing with polar bears. It was like a polar bear celebration. Every floor, every family had either 1 or 2 polar bears.

We passed the condo and came to some colourful buildings. It was up a pebbled road, the building looked like they were out of a paintings.

Then we arrived at our destination. It looked like the magical world of Disney, with castles and colorful people. The bus stopped.

My hubby got down quickly and left me to take all the luggages. I was a little pissed that he got down so fast. I pushed my way out as people already started coming up the bus.

As I got down the bus, the bus sped off.

I looked around for my hubby. He was nowhere in sight. I called his name. He did not answer. I called again, no answer, I could not find him. Was he still on the bus? Oh no!

I ran after the bus. I called his name. I ran. I called his name. I kept running, shouting his name. I kept shouting his name.......

I woke up.