Sci-Fi Movie Dream

It is difficult to describe a very exciting dream. It was like a sci-fi movie. I will attempt to describe.

Imagine Star Wars. That's the scene. 3 good fellas (1 girl - obviously me in the lead cast and 2 other guys) and 1 mean bad guy (the villain).

3 of us had to get into the villian's planet to steal a disk from his office. A disk containing all information of the universe. So me and another guy diguise as a couple from a faraway planet who came to the villiant planet for a visit. We landed in a space ship (shaped like a typewriter). Anyway, we went into the office to greet the villain. While talking to him, we were actually distracting him while the other guy steal the disk from his office.

Mission successful.....errr but not so fast. The villain said that my husband looked familiar. He wants to check up his biodata on his computer. He asked some of his staff in and told them that my husband looked like this popular movie star from planet ZZZ. They were laughing and asked me to go over so that he can show me the news that they were going to pull from the computer.

Oh no!! They are going to discover their data is gone!!!!! Error!! They tried again to access their computer...Error!! I had to act fast. I said - Just tell me what and who he is.

It worked, it distracted them and they told me that my husband is actually a casanova from planet ZZZ and have slept with many women. They were all laughing.

This was our chance to escape. I slapped my husband. Pretending to be really angry at him since now I discovered that piece of news about him. We pretended to be fighting and hitting each other while moving out of the office to get to our space shuttle.

We are there, we are ready to board the space shuttle.

Suddenly out of nowhere, this fat guy appeared. He is a staff of the villain. He said, he heard that we came from planet ZZZ, he is from planet ZZZ and he wanted to say hi. He went on to do some weird greetings and hand gestures from planet ZZZ.

Our cover is blown. We don't know the hand gestures. We had to get out. This fat guy knew immediately we are not from planet ZZZ.

A siren came on. The guards rushed in with the guns. We got into our space shuttle. We are preparing to launch. The guards arrive. They all take aim at our space shuttle as we launch up.

The screen froze. I woke up. Wow!! Talk about an exciting dream!!

My grandma

I pity my grandma.

She lived a hard life!

Now that she is old...she is still living a hard life. Not because she can't have a good life. She is so trapped in the past, she can't allow herself to lead a better life. No matter how we try to advise her...she can't change.

She has a maid, she say the maid is lazy and many many other things. For so many year, no maid has satisfied her. She said she does not need a maid but we all know she does!

She has money but refused to use them. She still tries to save every penny.

She keeps rain water to mop the floor. Her floor is dirty all the time even though it is mopped every day.

She dilutes the washing detergents so that it can be used for a longer time. Her dishes are usually still oily.

She switch off the lights and fans even though you still need it.

She wants to give away her fake jewelleries (some rusty and broken) as gifts to other people. To her it is valuable but to others, nobody wants them.

She eats half her rice and want to keep the other half for others to eat. Her concept is to save but nobody wants to eat her leftover rice.

She tries to get free things from other people. It's her way to save. She brought up 5 kids that way!

She denies she is ever wrong.

She is old.

Everyone is irritated with her. I am also guilty of that. I should not. I will regret it.

But it is easier to be sympathetic when you are an outsider. When you are dealing with her everyday, I can understand it is easy to feel frustrated. Infact, the feeling of frustration, anger, dealing with someone old can't be controlled even if you want to so much. Sometimes, your anger just burst out when dealing with them

So, to everyone out there who is caring for someone old, you hold an important responsibility. And I know it is not easy. It is ok to feel frustrated and angry. But know this, you are doing a noble job. You are holding a responsibility that many others don't even want to or just can't do. You are doing this noble task of caring for someone to have a few more beautiful years in their life. It is noble, it is to be appreciated and know that you are doing this out of the goodness in your heart. You are good.

So despite all the issues with my grandma's behaviour that have everyone extremely frustrated with her sometimes but I know everyone is doing their best. It is a matter of putting the frustration aside and seeing the goodness in this old and frail person.

I know the goodness in my grandmother. I know she wants the best for everyone. She has done a lot for me. She has loved me. She is not perfect.

She is my grandmother.

Past - A new manager

I woke up last night thinking of an ex-collegue. It somehow brought me back to that time when I was a newly promoted manager.

I remember myself at that time. Overworked, insecure and trying my best to hide it. I don't think I was a really happy person and probably my insecurities do reflect in my personality.

I guess I may not be the nicest person/boss when it comes to work. I was a young manager trying to do my work. So managing people wasn't really my priority especially when I am trying my best to figure out my own part of the work. Imagine trying to pretend to know what to tell your direct reports when you don't even have your own work figured out.

I guess I would seem unsympathetic and yet firm but with no susbstance. Sigh...the perils of a new manager.

I made mistakes. I learned from them. It took me a few years but in the last few years I think I finally became comfortable with myself. I am more sure of myself and my abilities. And I become more natural as a manager. I no longer feel intimidated or insecure with my direct reports. I just try my best to give them what I have.

I wish I could take back those years when I was "not the best" form of manager but there is no manual for it.

Everyone just need to do experience it. Learn from it and do the best to their abilities.

When snore is love

When snore is love.

The shock of hearing loud constant snoring can be quite daunting especially when you realise you have to sleep with this person for the rest of your life.

I often say I try to "kill" him in his sleep. Well, what I was actually doing is trying to diagnose where the noise is coming from. So the "killing" part comes from these 2 actions :

1) squeeze his nose to stop the noise
2) put my hand over his mouth to muffle the sound.

Hence....potentially "killing" him.

I soon realise that these methods don't work and infact it could most definitely get me a life sentence in jail. So I had to stop. And my message to all the women out there with a snoring husband - STOP even though you really want to do whatever it takes to stop the noise.

Now, I am past the stage of trying to 'kill' my husband.

His snore is love to me. Music to my ears.

A sign that he is well and alive beside me. Love.

p/s I am not kidding. Snore is Love.

Farting

How come when I was young, I don't remember myself farting. Ok, let me explain. It is not that I don't fart, I am very sure I did but I don't remember needing to fart frequently. Maybe once a week??!!

But now that I am "bigger" why do I constantly need to fart. A few times a day!!!

Sigh. Is this normal?

Double Risk

2nd night in a row, a vivid memory of a word appeared from my dream. It was Belittling yesterday and today it is Double Risk!

When I woke up I could remember clearly what happening in my dreams. After a few hours the memories fade but the context of the dream remained.

I remember it was a conversation with an collegue, Pris. I don't see her very often as she is always travelling and about. She so happened to be in the office that day and was very excited that we could catch up. We sat down and I told her my situation that I am quitting my job. She was surprised, concerned and said this. If you quit, wouldn't it be double risk if you husband don't have a job?

Double Risk? Double Risk? What exactly does this mean?

Belittling

Imagine I woke up from my dream with the word BELITTLING clearly spelled out in my mind. It was weird almost like a message to me. Or maybe I am just stressed in my sleep.

Whatever it is, I have been having loads of dreams everynite and each time with different adventures and usually I wake up with vivid memories of what transpired. But I don't write them now immediately and as such the memories fades and I can't remember much after.

But this dream had a word that rang out. Belittling.

I can't remember much, I can't remember where and what was happening around. I remember it was a conversation with my aunt.

Aunt said - I know you are not working and spending time at home. Don't you think it is BELITTLING to women kind that you choose to stay home?


I was really upset but I held it inside. I composed myself. I held myself together and very rationally I try to make her see how ridiculous she sounds. BELITTLING to women because I choose not to work, how absurd does that sound.!!!????


The word Belittling woke me up. What is this message? Is it belittling now that I am not at work? Sigh.

Men who keep their marital status a secret...

My girlfriend told me about a male colleague of hers who recently got married but yet don't want others to know. He is pretty successful, 30 something, a little full of himself - the type who thinks that he is eligible and a hot property to women. He was probably a bit of a player and dated around when he was single.

He has been dating his girlfriend for more than 1 year now and they recently got married. Even when he was dating her, he did not talk much about his girlfriend. But now that he is married, apparently he does not want people to know. It is like a big secret.

So what is it about a man who want to keep his marital status a secret? Is he still hoping that another girl comes along and he wants to keep his options open?

Is she pregnant? Well, nope she is not, so that is not the reason for secrecy.

So I don't really understand men who wants to keep the marital status a secret. Many of them also do it discreetly by not wearing their wedding band! If they are so faithful to their wives, why would they not give all the indications that they are married to others?

Can you stand it if your man decides to keep your relationship a secret? In what circumstances would you allow it? What reasons would he say to convince you?

For me....I would not marry the man if the relationship would be a secret whether for a while or whatever. It just sounds too fishy.

Who would want to be a wife in the dark? Or a girlfriend in the dark? Don't kid yourself to say that you are with him for whatever best reasons he may have. Don't start in a secretive relationship. It will just eat you up!

Why are people so inconsiderate?

May 2009



My hubby and I decided to treat ourself to getaway in a beautiful luxurious hotel.

It was a beautiful hotel, newly furnished and the room we had was fit for the Queen and King.

Just as we entered our room, just outside there was a huge spread of food. It came as part of our room package. For both of us only.

Auds and her friends were there too...they were waiting for their food at another table. When they saw our spread of food, they came over and started eating.

I told them, this food is not for them. It is only for my room. They all ignored us and continued eating.

I was pissed, how can people be so incosiderate? Not only they are eating food that is not theirs, they did not stop to ask if they can eat.



Pissed me off even in my dreams.

"Fake" Men

He was a good friend. Good guy, very attentive and nice to women. He is the type of guy that women can fall easily in love with. Smooth-talker, funny, smart, good-looking, socialize well, attentive (the type that protects women when you are with him), a good friend, overall a guy whom a girl will feel really lucky to have as her man. No faults, almost perfect.

Many moons ago when I first got to know him, I didn't see any faults, we became fast friends and I actually considered. But then just as I considered, it was like a big curtain was opened in my eyes. He was all the positives of the above, but then I saw something else. So small that nobody would notice. So small that even if I told others, they won't see it or believe me either.

But when I saw this little small fault, it never left me. He is a "little fake".

And I say a "little" cos in general, you won't be able to see it. In general, he is still a nice guy. In general he is still all that he is and all that he shows himself to be - all the positives. But I saw that he is not all that genuine, some of his actions so subtly but I saw is all not that real. Almost like a pretense but then he is not really pretending. It is difficult to describe. But it is like, he is this really nice guy and he is and he does do all the nice things but then once in a while he slips, you see that he is not 100% genuine. It is like a show he shows but a show that he has perfected that he almost became perfect but in actuality deep down he is not perfect.

Then again, is he all the positives above, yes he is. Is he a good friend, yes he is. Is he like a perfect husband/bf, yes he is. But I could not get over the little glimpse of "fakeness" I saw. It was almost I saw him for who he really is. I am still his friend but we are no longer close. But I have not become cold, there was no reason too. I became like him "fake" when I am with him. I am still like nice and close to him, we joke, we show concern, we are great friends but I am a "little fake", not 100% genuine. So, to avoid my own fakeness, I distance myself as necessary and naturally from him. I don't want to be a fake even if it is 1%.


He married the nicest girl. The girl worships the ground he walks on. She has been in love with him like forever. Together, they are like match made in heaven. Perfect life, Perfect couple.

Then I found out he slept around. Or well, I heard he slept with a collegue. This apparently happened a year ago. I wasn't around at that time. When I heard this from a source, I was in a dilemma.

He is a friend, his wife is a friend infact became a close girlfriend ie. we hang out and the girl he slept with is also a friend. Wow!! What am I to do?

Should I say something to him? He is after all, my friend first but then we are not that close anymore.

Should I say something to his wife? As a girlfriend to her, I should, but then this happened sometime back, I just heard about it now and it is from a third party. What if it is not true?

Should I say something to the girl he "apparently" slept with? I know her, we are friends but who am I to say anything to her??

So I confided with a girlfriend who also know all 3 of them. She hated me for it :) cos now she also has to carry the burden. At least there are 2 of us now. Anyway, we decided that we will not say anything.

Primary reason - we did not see it with our own eyes, what if not true, why plant a seed of betrayal if we don't even know for sure there was and whatmore this happened one year ago.

I hope we made the right decision.

This story came up again for me, sparked up by a dream I had yesterday.

He AS did it again. Apparently, he slept with many girls. We were all at a party. I was in a bad mood and wanted to leave. I started to walk out the door. I saw his wife DE in the crowd. She stopped me and said she wanted to talk. But I was in a hurry to go. I asked her can it wait? She said ok. But she looked sad. As I walked away, I felt bad. Did I do the right thing? Should I just stay and talk to her? I looked back at her, she was already talking with 2 other people. I hurried on. SP stopped me. She asked if she can walk with me and go where I was going. I said fine. We took the car and sped off.

SP wanted to talk to me. We stopped at a coffee stall. She told me that DE found out that AS has been sleeping around. She found hundreds of text messages on his phone from MAS air stewardess. DE is very sad. We need a plan.

I woke up. A dream based on reality.